“I WOKE up from nightmarish dreams with a raging thirst. There was a tube up my nose, screws in my head, another tube in my throat. I had a massive abdominal wound, a colostomy bag, and catheters and drips.”
This is how Bendigo woman Irene Ackland remembers her first moments of consciousness following a violent collision that nearly claimed her life one night 11 years ago.
Ms Ackland was 48 years old when she was involved in a crash near Coffs Harbour on the mid-north coast of New South Wales, a passenger in a car driven by someone who had been drinking.
The car left the road and slammed into a tree, leaving Ms Ackland with such severe injuries she died and was brought back to life five times.
She suffered appalling internal damage to her intestines, a broken neck, a broken wrist and an injury to her left shoulder.
The fracture in her spine was to the C2 vertebra, an injury known as the “hangman’s fracture”, which often leaves sufferers dead when it damages the spinal cord - an injury she was later told was “not conducive to life”.
Ms Ackland was in a coma for some five weeks after the crash and endured 15 surgical procedures before she regained consciousness.
When she awoke, she had no memory of what had occurred.
For another four weeks she was bed-bound – “the longest four weeks of my life” - as her body began to heal, with her then-79-year-old mother having to spoon-feed her.
But this caused her to suffer deep pressure sores at the base of her spine and the back of her head.
Even after she left her bed, she had a month-long stay in the rehabilitation ward and needed physiotherapy multiple times a week “for a long time” to return to some semblance of normal, including learning to walk and talk again.
“It was a harrowing and difficult recovery process,” she said.
Ms Ackland was one of more than 11,700 people admitted to hospital in NSW in 2005 as a result of road trauma.
Over the years, the damage to her internal organs has required 20 operations and she still seeks treatment for chronic pain, with her shoulder - which was the least life-threatening of her injuries - now giving her the most grief.
On her forehead she still bears the scars of the brace that was anchored to her skull to keep her neck stable and she continues to wear binders around her abdomen to keep hernias resulting from the crash in check.
Her injuries mean she still suffers digestive problems and has to stop part way through doing anything physical.
She also sees a psychologist to help manage post traumatic stress disorder, which sees her experience flashbacks to her time in hospital.
“I live with daily pain, I live with... not being able to finish things,” Ms Ackland said.
“There’s things I can’t lift, I have to ask for help a lot.
“That’s so bloody hard to do, to say ‘Help’ to someone, to say ‘I can’t do it’, it’s really hard.
“I was so independent.”
The crash has also had a huge impact on her financially.
At the time of the incident she was working two part-time jobs as a carer for people with disabilities.
But the crash cost her secure employment and she now gets by on disability assistance.
“Financially, it’s a huge burden. Emotionally, it cracked my confidence,” Ms Ackland said.
“I’m 59 years old now, I was 48 years old when I had that accident.
“What am I going to do for a job? Who is going to employ me?
“They’re going to go, ‘Nope, we’ll get someone younger’.
“They do that without the injuries, and plus, this has given me a really broken work history.”
All in all, she said healthcare costs resulting from the crash came to $125,000.
Despite the huge impact the crash has had, and continues to have on her life, Ms Ackland remains friends with the driver, who suffered abdominal bruising and was jailed for eight months on weekend detention as a result of the crash.
She said he helped her through her recovery, even moving in with her to help her look after herself.
She has also rediscovered her inherent optimism.
“It’s been a hard struggle, but I’m really positive now about the future,” she said.
“For a long time I couldn’t even envision the future.”
Ms Ackland believes that had the crash not happened she would not be who she is now, with her unique perspective and empathy.
It also gave her an unusual outlook on ageing - while people her age were starting to slow down physically, she said, she had only been getting better over the past 11 years.
During her recovery she also discovered painting and jewellery-making, two pursuits she had not considered before the incident, and she is currently preparing to sell her creations at Friday’s Gravel Hill market.
Ms Ackland has also begun running meditation sessions and a storytelling circle for women.
“I just work hard at finding the good in every challenge,” she said.
But she urged other people to think carefully about what they were doing when it came to the roads, especially if they had been drinking.
It only took a second for a life-changing crash to occur, she added.
“I made a stupid decision, I can’t even remember it,” Ms Ackland said.
“And I’m going to be paying for it forever.”
Natalie Croxon
Reporter at the Illawarra Mercury, mostly covering social affairs. Previously of the Bendigo Advertiser, Northern Daily Leader and Quirindi Advocate. Our Watch award winner.
Reporter at the Illawarra Mercury, mostly covering social affairs. Previously of the Bendigo Advertiser, Northern Daily Leader and Quirindi Advocate. Our Watch award winner.
