BONNEY Djuric was among the more than 1000 who went to Canberra on November 16 for the apology to the Forgotten Australians.
Ms Djuric was a resident of the Parramatta Girls Industrial and Training School in 1970.
In 2006, she established Parragirls, a lobby group to raise awareness of the dark side of the city's history relating to the Parramatta Female Factory precinct.
After returning from Canberra, Ms Djuric penned her thoughts and feelings in this open letter:
``A couple of days have passed since the apology to the Forgotten Australians and Child Migrants.
``Odd as it may seem, I feel a strange sense of detachment, yet I am a Forgotten Australian.
``The morning after the apology I walked to my local station with one of our Parragirls who had travelled down from the country. Returning home I called into the newsagent to pick up the papers and found I had only 60cents left in my purse. Back home again I just sat down and cried.
``My thoughts wandered back to the day. The early morning journey, first to Parramatta greeted with hugs, kisses, old and new faces a comradeship of Parragirls built over many years, all excited and anxious to make the journey to Canberra.
``Greeted by [Parramatta MP] Julie Owens, we arrived just in time to join the 1000 or so who had gathered in the Great Hall for this historic event.
``As the Prime Minister spoke, each of us was alone again in our memories in silent communion with all those lost to us, yet present in affirmation of each of his words.
``I was deeply touched in being named among those who had fought hard and long in addressing past wrongs in the hope of healing broken hearts and broken lives.
``For me the event was bittersweet: rewarding in that collectively Forgotten Australians and Child Migrants have been given an apology and the promise that we will be remembered.
``Yet it serves to remind us of those who did not survive to see this day, among them my own sister. In retrospect, the apology, however well-intentioned or received, is only one side of the coin. The other rests with each one of us in finding forgiveness.
``In contrast to the air of excitement and anticipation to Canberra, our busload of Parragirls were more subdued on the journey home, with one experiencing a severe anxiety attack.
``Tending to her, it brought home to me and to others the horror of our experiences, not only at the hands of those whose duty it was to care for us, but also the brutality of a few Parramatta girls who preyed on vulnerable girls within the institution. The latter is a truth so hard to speak of, yet in reality we know this happened not only in Parramatta, or Gosford Boys' Home and other State Institutions but also in orphanages, children's homes and in foster care.
``In moving forward I am ever more committed to memorialise the Parramatta Female Factory Precinct as a site of conscience, in recognition of the many thousands of women and children who suffered loss and separation.''
Bonney Djuric, www.parragirls.org.au
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